You know,
In spite of the gloom
which today loomed
Your sight and presence
Was like a present
Which made my heart
Fuzzy and warm
This is a bad poem,
But you know I love you anyway
=)
Whenever I look at you, you make me feel so warm and wonderful inside. You're amazing, my love.
Very long never see you!!
Ok, actually its like one day plus since today is Wednesday morning. But having to wait till tmr night to meet you is heart wrenching. I keep thinking of you!
Haha. And I keep thinking of Saturday too.
I think later I should be going to buy a small notebook so that we can write all the names of the wine we drank down. =)
MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hello! Today my family and I went to Malaysia, specifically Ayer Hitam, Muar and Kukup!
They're all very near, the furthest being Muar. On the way there, my mother kept on suggesting other places to go. Such as Kuantan and KL and my dad got pissed with her everchanging ideas. Haha. But dunno why my dad not so on today. It would be nice to go to KL! Ramly burger!! That's the only thing I ever do and want to do at KL.
So we left home quite late at about 10am... Then we went to Ayer Hitam straight. My dad let me drive when we got onto the highway. It was extremely satisfying. I felt as if everything was in control when I held on to the steering wheel and when I stepped on the accelerator, the power was kind of like stress relieving. Haha. I think once in a while I have this need for speed. I like it when I have this kind of manic concentration and just focus straight ahead and zoom by. My parents keep asking me why I drive so fast when no car chasing me behind. Haha. And no la. The most I went today was like only 160km/h. When I was driving, my dad off his music and both of us just sat there and listen to the engine. When my mother asked why he didnt switch on the music, he told he we are listening to the music of his car. Haha.
At Ayer Hitam, we ate the usual stuff we ate on the last trip there. My dad's Malaysian friend told him that the bao there is delicious. It's different from SG's one cos it's like twice the size of the normal big bao.The meat ok only la I feel. But my dad likes it. I think I didn't think much of the sauce used to marinate the pork in the bao. And I don't like bao with too much white part.
The wanton mee there is extremely delicious though. Not in the Tiong Bahru sense. Here, its the noodles that stole the limelight. I love the sauce for the noodles. It's slightly dark in colour and the noodles are extremely well cooked. Best wanton mee noodles I have ever eaten. Even nicer than Tiong Bahru (Haha. well TB's noodles isn't that great anyway). I think basically, their sauce has a very old and traditional taste to it.. and I really like it.
The Bak Kut Teh here is also very good. But it wasn't opened today. I know you think JB has the best, and I still think its true. Cos the BKT here tastes exactly like the one in JB, just a bit not as nice. I think it was bcos the soup wasn't as thick as the JB one. But at one taste, it reminded me of the JB one. It's good enough for me. Haha.
We went to Muar next, and had lunch there. My brother loves the Assam fish there. Do you like Assam fish? My brother damn funny la, while waiting for the dish, he even asked me if I could see him salivating. We ate Assam Stingray, Assam fish, Fried fish (those small whole fish), fried sotong and a plate of veggies. I don't think much of the assam but the fish here were really fresh and the meat was sweet. So it was not too bad. I mean after all, the place we ate was right next to the fish port so the fish better be good! The fried sotong was damn nice! It taste like the one at old chang kee. We ordered two servings of it. My brother went nuts here and ate a lot. He ate like 8 otahs too. Haha. People observing us might think we didnt eat for a few days.
Then we went to the 18 abbot temple to pray. And then went to Kukup. This fishing village kinda place, with a lot of mangrove swamps. Saw a lot of mudskippers. And no surprise, we ate seafood for dinner. Haha. Ate, chill crab (great sauce), big head shellfish, steamed crab, cereal prawns(big prawns but not much taste), fried baby squid(crunchy!) and a plate of veggies. We ordered two bottles of Tiger too! Only my dad didn't drink. And I drank the most again. Not because I want to, but because my mum and bro take so long to finish their beer. When they drink a bit already then they add more ice in their cup so the cup is always full. Oh well. When i got back into the car, I tried my best not to fall asleep but to no avail. The beer kicked in and I slept all the way to the customs!
Poor daddy. I think he is shacked. Cos we drove a lot along the small roads today and he couldn't speed and at times have to follow behind super slow cars cos its only one lane for each direction. Either that, crazy truck drivers will drive super close to my dad's car and make my dad worry about us.
Ok, that's the end... I have to go Zzzz now.
I love you! :)
Yesterday was a good day for me. I was really excited to be meeting you for lunch. And for a moment during lunch, I almost thought we were going on to do some more fun things after lunch. Haha. Then I remember you are going back to work.
Anyway, I went to Raffles City after that and Charlene called me, so I met her there. Couldn't find the refill for the notebook. The shop doesn't sell it and asked me to go MPH or some other book shop to buy. So I went, and they all don't have the correct size for my notebook. Kino doesn't have it too. Kino is so up to date! They are already selling 2008 schedule. Haha.
Then we went jogging at night together but this time, I didn't chase any old man cos I was a bit tired from chasing them on Monday but this young man, maybe like early twenties was chasing me! He's damn fast and on my last lap he still don't wanna give up and also speed up when I speed up. I was trying to pace myself with him before my final lap, and it was really tiring. So at about 10pm, I was simply exhausted.
Anyway, its Wednesday morning now. I have to do some last minute bidding and its still a bit early. Then I have school at 12pm. I hate to sit around and wait for school to start. Its so boring and school is so far away! Thankfully its only 2 hours today, and I can come home after that. Maybe take a nice nap or something.
The journey to school always seem longer than the journey back. On the way back, its like the train just zooms off and I can reach home by 45 minutes. But going to school may actually even take 1 hour.
(20 minutes later...)
Oh man. Looks like I can't do six modules this semester already. Everything was bidded for by yesterday. What a waste. Sigh.
Ok, its not that bad. I got to meet you today! And it was good. But it also not good in the sense that I feel as if its not enough and badly didn't want to leave you.
While waiting for you to appear today, I was standing around Starbucks, but actually nearer to "Accessorize". Then I saw something very cute. This guy, maybe about poly or uni age, walked in front of me, with a small but cute bouquet of flowers in a purple wrapper. Then the wrapper was similar to the one you got me, except yours was green and it reminded me of the bouquet that you gave me one year ago. So everything was very sweet. From the memory of the flowers you got me, to the flowers that this guy is about to surprise his gf with.
The guy walked very hurriedly. I think he thought he was late. But when he got to the spot that maybe he and his gf agreed to meet at, his gf was not there yet. So he leaned his right shoulder onto a wall and kept staring at the escalators bringing people up from City Hall MRT and City Link. He was quite near to the escalators and the glass doors. So throughout this few minutes (which must have been excruciating long for him, haha) he placed his left arm which was holding the bouquet behind him. I could even imagine how it would be like.
His gf would appear from the escalators and then they will both be smiling at each other and he will "pop" the flowers at her, Making her smile even more. So so so so so so so so sweet.
I didn't get to see him popping the flowers at her and her reaction in the end. I was distracted by this group of people blocking my view of him. But I only got to see the after part. Which was him placing his arms around his gf and his gf holding the flowers going down the escalators. We all know how the gf must be feeling. Haha.
All these also reminded me of how you must have waited outside my door and placed the flowers onto the mat and then keep waiting for me to come out and be surprised. Thank you for your lovely flowers. I dunno if you remember, but I told you I've dried them and they are still around, just that they are dried, but still extremely pretty.
Hello,
It's weird, for the whole of this week, I can't get to sleep when I lie on my bed at night. I dunno why too. I'll just lie there and thoughts will run wild in my head. They flow like a never ending stream and I just watch it flowing down, lying on my bed, not moving at all.
And the irritating thing is, I AM tired. I go to bed tired and exhausted every night. I do not know why too, but I do want my sleep. But it does not come. And when it does, it is usually more than half an hour.
Right now, I am tired too. I have been yawning the whole of today. Like I was yawning the whole of yesterday, but I don't dare to go to bed. I'm afraid I'll be awake once again. Sometimes I do think of drinking alcohol to help me sleep. Then I think of the calories and my limited supply of alcohol at home and I just kick it out of my mind.
Its the same everyday. I wake up and feel tired. I can't go back to sleep because usually its because my alarm has rung and it means I have to wake up to do things, even like mundane things like housework, at a leisurely pace. I hate to rush. And I hate rushing to do housework too because usually that will mean I do not finish most of the things I am supposed to do.
Seriously, I do not know what to do online. I read my music news, I read people's blog, I updated the food blog today, I read reviews about books and I read up about wine or new exciting food places. But new things do not pop up everyday and I tend to be bored online in less than 30 minutes. Yes, there is msn, but I get bored or tired with talking to people on msn too. Recently I feel anti-social too. I have no interest in talking to people. Sometimes I even feel tired talking to Evon or Charlene. But those feelings pass easily because they are my bestest friends I guess.
I think I have become very good with stoning. On the bus to the Canadian Rockies, the stupid bus trip will take hours on ends. Sometimes it's 2 hours, 4 hours or 6 hours. It's damn sickening. I sit till my butt aches and I hate it when we stop for a meal and go back onto the bus only to sleep again. So I do not sleep. I'll stare outside the windows and there are beautiful views and when the view gets too common (like snow capped mountains or blue water lakes) I'll start thinking. Thinking of what? That I do not remember now anymore. They are mostly thoughts that appear and disappear.
Hmmm, no use trying to stay awake huh? I hate CH 8 on Saturdays. They keep showing those stupid Jacky variety shows. I hate it for being so noisy and trivial. Its so stupid. I dunno why it is entertaining at all. It is always about 2 ugly hosts and a handful of beautiful women. It is the same every single episode. Either that, or CH 8 will keep showing those ancient China type of shows which my dad likes. In times of extreme boredom or when I wanna hang out with my dad, I do try to sit down and watch the show. And anyway, I don't watch TV.
I'm reading this book right now, its called "Everything Is Illuminated" and the guy in the story keeps saying this when he says someone is sleeping. For example, he will say, "Grandfather is manufacturing Zs" Haha.
Yes I do read books when I am bored. But I get tired of reading every once in a while too.
Time for me to try to manufacture Zzzzzs.
Helloooo my darling boyfriend,
Its 2.07am!! Hope you're sleeping soundly. I just finished doing all the things I'm supposed to do but I haven't bathe. See... No one bathe for me again... So poor thing. And that will be the case for another 2 more weeks.
Really wanna thank you for Thursday. You, purposely coming down to Woodlands to spend time with me. It was time well spent. And I really enojyed your company. The sushi was good too. Haha. Thanks for the treat once again.
Well I'm away, PLEASE take care ok? Remember to drink more water (not coke) if not your sweat will continue to corrode your repaired glasses. Haha. And be careful while running! =) Can't wait to come back and join a fitter and stronger you. I know I will come back safely. But I need you to be in one piece when I come back too. If not there's nothing to look forward to when I return. Hehe. So you MUST really look after yourself.
I guess this 2 weeks away from you will be good in some ways. Most importantly, I know it will give you more time to concentrate on your investment and your job search. I know these two things are in your mind most of the time. Hopefully without me being a distraction, you'll work better. I know you will. Haha. Really appreciate all those times you give up your own time for us. You know, I kind of feel bad for going away. Somehow, I feel that you need a break more than I do. Maybe for now you can try to have more Kit Kats? =) or Kinder Bueno also can.
Oh man. I think I am hungry. Or maybe I'm sleepy. Haha.
Btw, I'm wearing another pair of diamond earrings now. Haha. It's bigger too. But its not mine. They belong to Jason's mother. This is so weird you know. Our fathers are both called Roger, and our aunties are both called Jenny. But my Aunty Jenny is my father's sis in law. In case you're wondering, no I haven't told my mother about my missing earring yet. I can't seem to find it in my room too. Sigh. I guess it will appear some day. I hope. Anyway, I'm wearing her set of diamond earrings and necklace because I'm supposed to wear it on the formal nights on the cruise. Haha. And it's too dangerous to put into the luggage bag because the luggage bag may go missing. Do you know I can't spell luggage? I had to use dictionary.com to help. Haha. Its a problem for me since young. So irritating.
To refresh your memory, hehe, I'm first going to be at Vancouver and staying for one night. Then the next day, which is 10 june, we will go to our cruise ship (Celebrity Infinity) and have a 7 day cruise. Then 4 day 3 night Canandian Rockies. I'll take lots and lots of picture to share my memories with you.
I'm still scratching my mosquito bites on my legs. So itchy.
You know I put two show boxes into my luggage. One contains my beautiful heels (which you have not seen yet because its so damn high) the other my red nike shoes. Haha. My parents were asking me why I wasn't wearing my nike shoes. I told them I don't want to spoil my running shoes and they didnt understand what I was talking about. They say running shoes are to wear. Haha. So funny. Then they ask me I bring for what. Then I tell them "to wear when I go running". Haha. I think they think I'm nuts.
Ok, good night Din Din!! I'm going to bathe and then sleep already. It's 2.34am already. We're supposed to leave the house by 6.30am. I think I'm going to be grouchy when I wake up later. Haha.
If I can go online overseas, I'll blog here too. =)
I MISS YOU. And I LOVE YOU.
Only you.
Please take care. See you soon.
P.S. If... you know, you can have my laptop (we're bringing my brother's) and my grey (white) bear. If you don't want my grey (white) bear, please give it to me. Ok and all my geography books you can have too. And my one half of the diamond earring that I lost. And pass me my Kurt Cobain Journals because I have not finish reading it. You can have my The Sims expansion pack too! And everything else. Haha. Okok, I know you must be thinking, there she goes again, being morbid and all. Well, just in case la. Hehe.
I LOVE YOU!! I'll be back in your arms real soon! Can't wait to hug you, to kiss you, to molest you once again.
Hello dearest,
I'm writing this after we met up at your house, the day my dad was on MC and I could drive to your place. It was exciting and fun again to be able to drive his car to your house. It's been so long. And I almost thought I should have exited at the Changi Village exit but luckily I remember that I have to go over this bridge thing first before I exit at the Bedok exit.
I am glad we got to talk today. I think we should always maintain something like that ok? We don't have to bottle up everything to ourselves. I wanna understand what you are going through and know what you are thinking. You don't have to carry all your heavy weight with you alone. I am willing to share any burden that you have. I am willing to do so for the rest of my life - if you let me.
And I will always remember the promise to you ok? I promise that I will never leave you because you were not there to relieve my boredom. Especially not when you are unable to relieve my boredom because you have worries about the future. I will never leave you and be with another guy because you were not there. Being bored is just a small thing. It is not exactly important. Like the recent important event which happened to me, you were there - even though you still had worries then. You gave me lots of support, love, concern, understanding and we talk through so many things. How can I ever leave you after going through that?
I love you a lot. I just do. Since young, I knew that once I found the man I fall in love with, I will always love that man and I will not do anything wrong to him. What I'm saying is, once I love that person, I will always love that person - and that person is you.
Everytime before we meet up, I always smile to myself at the thought of meeting you again. When we finally meet up, regardless of whether we had an argument or whatever the night before, I still can't help but smile at you (even though sometimes I realise that you don't like to look at me when we just meet up and sometimes you also don't smile at me, but I'll still smile at you). The sight of you just light up my soul and I feel happy.
Sometimes when we didnt meet for a while, I always miss you a lot. If I make any complaints at all, I want you to know its just bcos I do so bcos I miss you very badly and I badly wish that I could be there with you. I know sometimes I'm quite annoying. Sometimes I'm worried that one day you'll find me so annoying that you don't want to be with me.
Nowadays, sometimes when you don't reply my sms, I really wonder if you've gotten sick of me and can't be bothered with me anymore. In an argument and when you don't reply me, I'll really feel that way. Like last night, I couldn't sleep. Because I was half waiting for your sms which I do not know will or will not come and I was half wondering if you can't stand me anymore. I really don't want to lose you. So you really don't have to worry about losing me.
Today I also said that I will only leave you when you stop loving me. I will also stop loving you the day you stop loving me. Just know that if you love me, nothing bad will happen to us. Even the thought of you leaving me brings tears to my eyes. The thought of it saddens me a lot.
Hello Din Din,
There is something which I want to ask you... For all the women you have ever loved in your life,
"How do you love each of us?"
I'm not looking for answers that say things like, "I love you now, and that is the most important thing."
You don't have to say that because I know you love me now. :)
But, I just want to know, how do you love each of us? How similarly or how differently?
I mean I'm sure once upon a time you love some other girl a lot, and you do the same things that you do to her now that you do to me, like writing sweet letters and cards, buying things to make us happy, buying us flowers, holding our hands etc. Is there anything different in the love you had/ have for each one of us? You can say your love for all of us is similar, its fine with me too. I want you to know that I'm not jealous of them or what. I understand your love for all of us is special in your own way and I think it must have been a very sweet thing when I think of how for a period in your life, another girl could make you smile and how you could make her smile.
Maybe you can give your reply in another entry. Hopefully you'll be specific too.
One hour to my new Media exam... very bored.
From 10.15am to 5pm. The wait is excruciatingly long. How I wish the day will end soon...
It's so irritating. I have no idea what to study for my new media exam. It's going to be MCQ so that is a huge consolation for me. But I dunno how the mcqs will look like or what they will ask. Oh well. I'll know in an hour's time. And I can't wait for it to start. Right now I'm sitting outside the library at those wooden benches and the table directly beside mine has this group of people discussing their real estate stuff so loudly. So irritating.
Today I had a great lunch, because I was so free and I dun really know what to study for my exam, I asked my dad out for lunch. I still got study la. We went to Lemongrass! I guess he knows that recently I keep on wanting to eat Thai food. Every week I'll bother him and my mother to eat Thai food at IMM (this restaurant called Thai Bali) or at Sembawang shopping centre... which has nice fried fish with sweet chilli sauce. Actually I don't really know if that one is really that nice or not. It's just sth that I've eaten since young and I like it when I was young.
We went to The Village or what is it called? The place near NUS which we had our sushi there. My dad drove past the duck rice that you like so much. And I was damn surprised when he suddenly say "You know here got one very famous duck rice store? We came here and try before... nothing much..."
Then I was like, "HOW YOU KNOW?"
He said, "Got appear on newspaper."
Haha. See.. He wasn't impressed with the ducky rice there. You should really try the one at Sin Ming. Its really very very good. Hmmm.. YUM. Haha.
We ordered Tom Yum soup, green curry chicken and kang kong at Lemongrass. Wah lau, I think the tom yum opposite Beauty World also nicer. Haha. It's not that its not nice... It's somehow not spicy enough and something is lacking. Even the one we had at Parkway was nicer. So was the Black Canyon one. The green curry was not bad. I kept drinking it.. Haha... I wanted to eat the fried fish but then my daddy dun wanna eat. Sigh. But that's alright I guess. I'll just go on and dream about it in my head. Haha. Sometimes when you dream about something so much, you will not mind not eating it. Because somehow you'd think that it will not come true anyway. Yeah.. something like that.
Hey, you don't seem to like to send me "All the best!" or encouraging smses often during my exam period. I know maybe you think it is no use... Or maybe you think that you've gone through the exact same thing before and what Im going through is nothing much. =( Ok, I dunno if you actually think that way... But sometimes I wish that you will ask me more about how'smy studying and all. Or maybe bcos I always seem not to be studying so you don't get the chance to ask. Haha. Im not blaming you ok? I'm just telling you what I've noticed. But I DO notice when u ask things like "how's your paper" or when you say thing like just endure a bit more. Or maybe you are not used to giving more encouragement to your friends in the past too. I dunno. Dunno if what Im saying here is too much or sth, but its nice to feel someone motivating me sometimes. Don't you think so? Maybe you have other stuff in your mind now. Anyway, I don't blame you or anything. There isn't anything to blame anyway.
Hehe. Guess what. just now this girl came along and promote Red Bull. And I got a free Red Bull can. She says it different and not from Thailand. Its the blue can one. And she was saying its not so sweet. And its true! =) It doesnt taste as horrible as the normal ones. And she gave the same nonsense about how its not so sweet... but ok la.. Maybe not that sweet but still sweet. Haha. I'm so happy with the free Red Bull! I was in need of some caffeine fix. Ok.. 45 minutes to exam. I need to go now. Still have to walk to exam hall and loiter around there.
Hopefully the MCQs will be manageable. My bag is so heavy!
Love you!
